Funny Children’s Prayers

This morning at church, I started off my message on the Power of Prayer sharing some of these funny children’s prayers. However, I didn’t have a chance to share all of them, so I’m posting them all here for your enjoyment… Kids do say the darndest things!


girl pray

“Dear God, I went to this wedding and they were kissing right there in church. Is that OK?”
“Dear God, thank You for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy.”
“Dear God, it must be super hard to love all the people in the world, especially my brother. I don’t know how You do it.”
“Dear God, I love Christmas and Easter. Could you please put another Holiday in the middle, there’s nothing good in there now.”
“Dear God, are you actually invisible or is that just a trick?”

“Dear God, I want to be just like my daddy when I grow up but without so much hair all over.”
“Dear God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.”
“Dear God, is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?”

“Dear God, my Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
“Dear God, do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don’t, who does?”

“Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?”
“Dear God, in Bible times, did they really talk that fancy?”
“Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother.”
“Dear God, if you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.”
“Dear God, is Pastor Dan a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?”

“Dear God, I heard the moon was made of cheese. Tonight half of it is missing. Did you get hungry?”
“Dear God, I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.”

“Dear God, please take care of my daddy, mommy, sister, brother, my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we’re gonna be in a big mess.”

“Dear God, if You can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am!”

“Dear God, I say your prayer every night, ‘lead us not into temptation and deliver us some e-mail’ but I never get an e-mail from you. Do you have my right address?”

“Dear God, when my mom makes leftovers, do I have to pray for the food again?”
“Dear God, instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You just keep the ones You have?”
“Dear God, who do I pray to when you go on vacation?”
“Dear God, please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.”

“Dear God, we read Thomas Edison made light, but in Sunday school they said You did it. I bet he stole your idea.”
“Dear God, I don’t think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying that because You are God already.”

“Dear God, did the unicorns miss the ark? Too bad the skunks didn’t miss.”

“Dear God, could you please send Mikey Johnson to another summer camp this year?”


About Chris Jordan

Husband. Father. Author. Pastor. High School Bible Teacher. Follower of Jesus. And I enjoy a good cup of coffee!
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2 Responses to Funny Children’s Prayers

  1. The curious, unfiltered thoughts of children are the best. Was going to try to pick my favorite and couldn’t. Too many great questions and requests here. 🙂

  2. gtemedtk1 says:

    Children hold nothing back, especially when they are talking to God. He makes them all so special, thank you for posting this!

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